"Rose-tinted glasses aren't the best ones to use when you need to bring clarity to your relationship." (source)


Purpose

  • Having a relationship with a good fit for both sides provides the best chance of a successful marriage.

  • A good fit should tick both logical and emotional boxes; using solely one aspect is ill-advised.

  • Use this template to list out all the factors (pros/cons) about how well does your partner fit into your life (present and future).

Marriage Compatibility Matrix (Template)

Q: How well does your partner fit/not fit in these areas of your life?

Area Points
Spiritual  
Lifestyle  
Financials  
Relational  
Long-term Goals  
Others  

Legend

➕➕ Big plus

➕ Plus

☐ Neutral/Nitpick

➖ Minus

➖➖ Big minus/Dealbreaker

Conflict Resolution Strategies

Q: What if there’s friction on a certain point?

  • Adapt

If it is possible to change the state of affairs to a new normal that is a viable long-term solution and does not cause as much pain, then that is optimal.

  • Accept

If the pain point is minor (eg. nitpick) and does not hurt the relationship or either partner, then accepting the pain point is a valid strategy.

  • Abandon

If the pain point(s) is causing too much friction or is a dealbreaker, then perhaps it is for the better for both parties not to proceed into marriage.

Marriage Compatibility Matrix (Template): Examples

Area Points
Spiritual Same religion?
Same spiritual experience?
Lifestyle Gym rat or Couch potato?
Similar hobbies?
Agreeable with one another’s general lifestyle?
Willing to engage in each other’s hobbies?
Financials Spendthrift or saver?
Agree with each other’s spending habits?
Amount of money spent?
What is the money spent on? (eg. trinkets, toys, hobbies, etc…)
In debt?
Investment skills?
Financially responsible for others?
Relational What do you appreciate about your interactions with your partner?
Introvert or Extrovert?
Gets along with in-laws?
Acceptance with other partner’s friends?
Long-term Goals Children?
Nondivergent goals?
Others *Everything else that doesn’t fall in the areas above

Backstory

This template was organically formed as I was discerning the possibility of marriage with my partner. It contains the aggregated wisdom of multiple people of Godly counsel in my life, Thanks be to God 🙂

I found this template useful for me, so I thought maybe it’d be useful for others. If you’ve found it useful, holla at me! 📢

Cheers, and have a good one!